Living Arrows – 42/52 {2017}
“You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth”
We have been waiting for the day when someone wouldn’t want to join in. We decided to go for a walk after swimming to collect some leaves for crafts, and we were met with “but I don’t want to go” from James. He explained he was tired, and his legs were hurting.. but he still wanted to go to his swimming lesson beforehand.
James turned eight years old, exactly a month ago today, but in the last few weeks, he has been very out-of-character. We have had mood swings, lots of tears, a few minor warnings from school, more backchat than usual and a few more warnings at home for rougher play with his sisters. I think he might be experiencing a growth or hormone surge. Don’t get me wrong, he has his moments, but he is usually mature, understanding and quite level-headed for an eight-year-old!
Luckily he changed his mind and had a brilliant time while we were out walking. We decided to go off the main path searching for leaves, and then we spent extra time climbing trees.
Squirrel!
Independence
Recently he has seen a few school friends playing near their homes on the walk home from school, and he wants to join them. Except we don’t live as close, and he wants to go alone. He is responsible, mature and I trust him. I just don’t trust others, and I’m not ready to let him go out alone.
It’s so hard. I feel such a tug on my heartstrings. I want to give him what he wants and I know that I can’t wrap him in cotton wool.
A Broken Promise
I remember growing up with my Grandma, and wishing that she would trust me more and let me go out with my friends. Back then made a promise to myself; I promised that I would trust my children, because I never wanted them to feel how I felt in that moment.
I’ve broken that promise to my 10-year-old self. I know that’s how James feels now, and I half wonder if he’s making the same promise to his future children. I just want to protect them, while I show them the good that surrounds them, and I want to teach them to be good, kind people.
Mr T feels exactly the same, and he was given the freedom to explore as a child. I think the hardest part is that we upset the person we are trying to protect by saying no,
A Compromise
As a compromise, the following day I said he could walk to school ahead of us. Except Lily (who is almost 7) cried for a full 20 minutes and was still crying going into class. I don’t think there are any winners in this parenting game!
My two favourite men
This is our friendly cat, who visits our garden, makes himself at home and meow’s outside our backdoor!
We are going to try and find other ways we can give them independence, and show them how much we love and value them. I think they are all more than ready for the October half term rest!
